Outrageously Sneaky Storage Facts

Storage facilities are the modern-day treasure chests - except instead of gold, they’re filled with half-broken furniture, old clothes, and an inexplicable number of holiday decorations that continue to be unused and unloved. Behind those steel doors, the roller doors and climate-controlled corridors lies a world of sneaky tricks, odd truths, and a touch of absurdity from the human race. Oh and the dust. Lets not forget the dust. Let’s crack open the storage vault to uncover some of the sneakiest (and funniest) secrets.

 They’re Betting You’ll Forget About It

Storage companies make big bucks on your procrastination. They know you’re too busy (or lazy) to clear out your storage unit, so they keep collecting rent month after month - automatically off that CC. It’s like a gym membership, you know that one you do not use? Same with the storage unit you don’t use it, but you keep paying for it.

Foolish or Genius? 

The Mysterious “Admin Fee”

What’s an admin fee, you ask? Great question! Nobody really knows. It’s that sneaky little charge that shows up on your bill for… existing? Signing up? Breathing near their facility? Using the toilet? Whatever it is, you’re paying for it, and they’re laughing all the way to the bank - because you signed on that dotted line without checking the fine print. 

Storage Facilities Have VIP Suites (Kind Of, Not Really)

Want to store your junk in luxury? Some facilities offer units with high-tech climate control, Wi-Fi, easy access from lifts or car parks and many more. How much is too much for the price of comfort for your belongings?

It’s the Perfect Spot for Witness Protection or Dead Bodies

Storage units are so anonymous and boring that they’ve been used for everything from secret meetings to hiding evidence to some of the biggest drug busts worldwide. If your neighbor suddenly starts renting a unit and avoids eye contact, maybe don’t ask too many questions.

“Climate-Controlled” Might Just Mean They Open a Window

Facilities love to tout climate control, but sometimes it’s just a fancy way of saying, “We keep the door cracked on mild days and shut the window on cooler days.” Spoiler alert: your grandma’s quilt probably doesn’t need a $300-a-month refrigerated spa - maybe it needs to head to the local animal shelter for a better purpose? 

They Know You Can’t Resist “Free First Month” Deals

Storage facilities love to hook you with a “free first month” promotion, but that second month? Oh, that’s when the real rent kicks in. It’s like those free streaming trials you forgot to cancel except this one comes with a padlock, heavy lifting and "miscellaneous” boxes that you so quickly packed and wrapped away. 

They’ve Seen It All (and Pretend They Haven’t)

From exes trying to stash personal revenge items to people secretly living in units, storage staff have witnessed every imaginable scenario. They’ll smile politely as you unload your questionable pile of “antique” swords and boxes labeled “DO NOT OPEN.” But you would be shocked and intrigued by what's behind those storage roller doors. 

The Bigger the Unit, the More Junk You’ll Hoard

Storage facilities know you’ll fill whatever space you rent and they hope you do. Might lead to the second and third unit? Who knows? That’s why they subtly upsell you to a larger unit. "Why settle for 3x3 when you can have 6x3? Think of all the space you can save at home and in future!" How ridiculous to think like this - just the cash alone would make some people cry. 

It’s an Expensive Black Hole for Your “Precious Items”

The sneakiest secret of all? Most people forget what’s in their storage unit within six months. Oh and the storage companies love it. That boogie board you couldn’t part with? Gone to the void. Your priceless collectibles of matchbox cars? Still there but now covered in mystery dust and also mystery animal feces. 

Pop the Padlock on

Storage facilities are masters of stealthy tactics, thriving on our over-attachment to things we don’t need, not to mention the emotional & mental attachment we all suffer from as well. They’re like that one friend who always convinces you to order dessert when you’re already full (she is usually thinner than you as well..) they make you think it’s a good idea until you realize you’re stuck with the consequences and their CC isn’t the one suffering. Think? Do I really need to keep this stuff or also keep lining the pockets of storage facilities?